i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
