after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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