his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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