This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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