I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
