Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
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We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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