i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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