So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
