This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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