on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
