I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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