Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
