i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
