I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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