You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
