I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
