she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
