Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
