i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
