I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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