Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize