We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
