i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
