I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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