You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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