Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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