I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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