She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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