i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
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I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize