So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My dick has a subreddit
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
