I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize