i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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