I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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