I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
