so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize