I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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