hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
