So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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