I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
