sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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