is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
