She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
