No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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