If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize