I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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