I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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