I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
