i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize