Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
