Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
