why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
