How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Houston, we have a blender
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize