Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize