I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
