I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
