Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
