I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
