he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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