I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
