dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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