I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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