Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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