Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize