I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
